Uncensored!

poor paigey

paige burst into tears in the car today out of nowhere. she said she missed ABC and MJC and wanted them to come home now. poor JR had to tell her they won't come back. she's too young to have to be this affected by these actions. it's just not fair.
i don't know why i hold onto a friendship she gave up years ago. i've heard the lies she's told about me. but no one else knows me like her. and we shared too much. i can't just start that over. she knows it all. god, why am i so unloveable. why doesn't my best friend even love me anymore? why did she choose someone else over me? why does it have to be like this? just because they are 700 miles away doesn't mean we can't be friends. SD and i manage it.
i let her lie about me and take advantage i guess. or maybe they lie. or maybe they all lie. none of it is true and i can't know what is. how do i know who to trust now? i trusted fifi and i feel like i was betrayed somehow. and what did i do to her? besides go visit twice a week, meet her for lunch, be her friend. and AEC, well, there's too much history there. but i PROVED to you at the end that i was still there. i was the ONLY one who went to you first. guess i'm just the fucking sucker.
i wish i knew what they thought or felt. why they did this to me. i don't understand purposely doing this to someone. "i'm not quite done w/ stacy yet though". thanks fifi. glad i was just an escape.

posted by LittleOne @ 8:23 PM