Uncensored!

The One That Didn't Get Sent

I just wanted you to know I'm sorry I sent you that letter. But I probably would've been sorry if I didn't. I hate that I was so careful in planning everything so that no matter what I would never lose someone who was such a good friend but in the end my fears came true. For someone to do for me what you've done, well, I couldn't thank you enough. I'm not sure you understand how much you helped me. So the last thing I wanted to do was complicate an already complicated situation. But that seems to be my specialty. :-) I understand why you stopped calling and I hope you understand that I can't really talk to you right now. But I haven't been able to for a while...
If we can wait until end of Sept/begining Oct it would allow me the time necessary to get my affairs in order. If there's a problem, please let me know. We will need to speak prior to you filing so I can have papers drawn up and notarized allocating assets. It's best to wait as long as possible so we're sure to include everything.
I hope one day things can not be so wierd and we can talk again. If not, well, some people remain in your life forever and some are just there for a while when they're needed. I hope we haven't run our cycle, but if we have, thanks for being in my life when I needed you most.
Love
Me

Alternate begining I wrote when feeling like shit at work:
I’m sorry I wrote that letter and made things so awkward, but I would’ve been sorry if I didn’t. It’s a lose/lose situation I guess. I’m sorry I’m being like this. Honestly, I think it’s fucking stupid. I don’t know what my damn problem is. I mean, you know me well enough to know I’m going on with my life here… Ugh, I don’t even know how to say what I’m trying to say. This whole situation is fucking retarded and it’s completely my fault. I know that and I’m sorry. I don’t know why I feel this way and I don’t know why I can’t make myself just forget about it all like I usually do. Don’t let this go to your head, though. I’m not sitting here, pining away alone in my house or something waiting to see what could happen… I’m realistic; my head is just being stupid. Give it a little time, I’m sure I’ll be fine. None of this was supposed to happen. Damnit, I had planned everything out so perfectly…

He called before I had a chance to send it. Of course, I didn't say most of what was said there, except the logistical part, but the letter wouldn't make sense now. It doesn't matter, he doesn't give a shit and I don't really either anymore. I don't appreciate being blamed for something I didn't do and know nothing about because of something that happened a year ago that I had nothing to do with! That's just fucking bullshit. Whatever.
Then there's the girl who likes to claim she's glad I stayed here and what a good friend I am who blew me off AGAIN. Well, FUCK YOU BITCH. You've done this 1 too many times to me and I'm sick of it. That is not a real friend and I'm not going to sit here and let you do this or let you think you're all high and mighty like you like to do. Learn how to be a real friend to people... Speaking of relationships that have run their course. Lol. Apparently this one has because I'm not putting up with bullshit anymore. Just give me my stuff and I will be on my way.
All in all, things suck, so I'm not talking to anyone anymore. Well, for the most part. I'm not answering my phone so it's not that easy to get ahold of me. Lol. Welcome to my wonderful life.

posted by LittleOne @ 12:43 PM